Have you heard? ESPN The Magazine’s “The Body Issue” will feature nude or “semi nude” photographs of various athletes. (What is semi-nude, anyway? Is it the same as being semi-clothed? Like a glass half empty/half full kind of thing?)

According to USA Today, James Blake and Serena Williams will represent for tennis. (*UPDATE* -  James Blake is not on the ESPN press release list of naked athletes – so consider the photo below as a bonus.)

Eh. Been there, seen that:

I should come clean and admit that I have a major bone to pick with ESPN The Magazine. It published one of the single most ridiculous tennis articles ever written. Here’s how it started:

“If I guaranteed you that the 2008 Wimbledon men’s final would be the best tennis match of the past 20 years, would you watch it?

Amazingly, many sports fans would say no. Maybe they’d flick over to NBC a few times to “monitor the action.” Maybe they’d swing by for the fifth set. Maybe they’d watch a few games and get bored, then allow themselves to be sucked in by Under Siege or a Tila Tequila marathon. But I don’t have a single friend who’d watch four hours of tennis on a Sunday morning and, I’m guessing, neither do you.“

Note that this article was written before Wimbledon. We all know what happened two weeks later. HA!

So here’s The Body Issue, GTT Edition for you.

(Note: this is an all-male edition. I figure there are enough naked/semi-naked lady photos on the internet. I’m sure you know where to find them. . .)

An entire Naked Tennis Player Magazine could be devoted to the Spanish Armada:

Here’s Marat Safin doing the “semi-nude” thing:

“You’ve seen one, you’ve seen ‘em all!” Yeah, right, Marat.

And here’s a classic for all you Pat Rafter fans:

Are you still curious about that *other* Body Issue?Here’s some info from the ESPN presser:

ESPN The Magazine’s inaugural “Body Issue,” on newsstands Friday, Oct. 9, will feature nearly 80 athletes from a variety of sports in a celebration and exploration of the athletic form. The issue honors athletes of diverse shapes, sizes, genders and races within the boundaries of taste and frontiers of creativity upon which ESPN The Magazine and ESPN have built their reputations. It is a testament to the work the athletes do, the effort they exert and the price they sometimes pay in reliance on their most important asset – their bodies.

Features in the Body Issue explore the athletic form, inside and out – literally. Body Issue editorial topics include: the largest genetic test of current and former athletes to examine their genetic mapping, athletes’ use of sexuality to promote themselves, a first-hand look at an athlete’s ACL surgery, insuring the athletic body and what video game companies know about the athletic body and the process they go through to create the video game representation of star athletes.

And here is the list:

·          Adam Nelson / TRACK & FIELD / SHOT PUT
·          Adrian Peterson / NFL / VIKINGS
·          Alex Solis / JOCKEY
·          Bryan Clay / TRACK & FIELD / DECATHLETE
·          Byamba / SUMO
·          Carl Edwards / NASCAR
·          Casey Hampton / NFL / STEELERS
·          Cheryl Haworth / WOMEN’S WEIGHTLIFTER
·          Claire Bevilacqua / SURFER
·          D.C. United: Chris Pontius, Bryan Namoff, Clyde Simms, Jaime Moreno, Santino Quaranta, Ben Olsen / SOCCER / MLS
·          Dwight Howard / NBA / MAGIC
·          Edmonton Oilers: Sheldon Souray, Ethan Moreau, Andrew Cogliano / NHL
·          Gina Carano / MMA
·          Ivan Rodriguez / MLB / RANGERS
·          Jenn Stuczynski / TRACK & FIELD / POLE VAULT
·          Johnny Weir / ICE SKATER
·          Ken Schrader / NASCAR
·          Kevin Robinson / BMX
·          Kristi Leskinen / FREESTYLE SKIER
·          Laird Hamilton / SURFER
·          Lolo Jones / TRACK & FIELD / HURDLER
·          LPGA: Sandra Gal, Anna Grzebien, Christina Kim / GOLF
·          Malliciah Goodman / COLLEGE FOOTBALL / CLEMSON
·          Manny Pacquiao / BOXER
·          Mark Martin / NASCAR
·          Metal Mulisha: Todd Potter, Colin Morrison, Ronnie Faisst, Brian Deegan, Beau Manley, Nixey Danielson / MOTOCROSS
·          Michelle Carter / TRACK & FIELD / SHOT PUT
·          Natasha Kai / USA SOCCER
·          Nelson Cruz / MLB / RANGERS
·          Oguchi Onyewu / USA SOCCER
·          Patrick Kerney / NFL / SEAHAWKS
·          Poker: Daniel Negreanu, Scotty Nguyen, Jennifer Harman, Phil Hellmuth
·          Randy Couture / MMA
·          Ryan Guettler / BMX
·          Ryan Lochte / SWIMMER
·          Sarah Reinertsen / TRIATHLETE
·          Scott Jurek / ULTRAMARATHONER
·          Serena Williams / TENNIS
·          Shane Proctor / BULL RIDER
·          Steph Davis / ROCK CLIMBER / BASE JUMPER
·          Stephane Robidas / NHL /  STARS
·          Susan Francia / ROWER
·          Torry Holt / NFL / JAGUARS
·          USA Softball: Natasha Watley, Cat Osterman, Jessica Mendoza, Lauren Lappin
·          Zdeno Chara / NHL / BRUINS

For some preview images, click here.

Czech it out! Photographer: Paul Zimmer

Tomas Berdych and Radek Stepanek took care of business on Saturday, pairing up after their epic five setters the day before to beat  Marin Cilic/Lovro Zovko in the doubles: 6-1 6-3 6-4. The Czech team is now 3-0 over the Croatians, and is guaranteed a spot in the Davis Cup finals this December.

Czech mates! Photographer: Paul Zimmer

Though the Czechs were playing in Croatia, they still enjoyed significant support from the stands. Here’s the on-the-ground report via daviscup.com:

The Zatika Arena was reminiscent of a heavy metal rock concert. The cheering, chanting, and jumping up and down courtside would have been more at home at a Pearl Jam performance. An entire section of men with all body shapes removed their shirts and started to swing them in the air while singing. They were celebrating.

In Spain, the Defending Champions also pulled off the 3-0 lead against their semifinal rivals, with Tommy Robredo and Feliciano Lopez taking out the slight favorites, Jonathan Erlich and Andy Ram of Israel, in four sets: 7-6(6) 6-7(7) 6-4 6-2.

Team Spain. Photographer: Sergio Carmona

Both Rafael Nadal and Fernando Verdasco were sidelined with injury, but were literally on the sidelines to support the team (they joined in the victory lap, above). The final against the Czech Republic will be played in Spain, and if Rafa and ‘Nando are both healthy, a couple members of the current team will likely be left out (no F-LO? Adios JCF?) Talk about a problem most teams would like to have.

WORLD GROUP PLAYOFFS

Roger is not amused. Photographer: Angelo Tonelli

There’s some drama in Italy, where the Italian team of Bolelli/Starace snagged the crucial doubles point from Wawrinka/Chiudinelli on Satuday, bringing things to 2-1, Switzerland. Roger Federer, who was taken out of the doubles rubber for a  rest, will try to wrap things up in the fourth rubber vs. Seppi on Sunday.

The (Nole-less) Serbs are the only playoff team already guranteed a spot in the World Group. They beat the Uzbeks 3-0.

The dreamy team. Photographer: Virginie Bouyer

Jo Wilfried Tsonga and Michael Llodra pulled France ahead, 2-1, vs. the Netherlands.

Click here for more World Group Playoff results.

In ZONAL TIE news, things are looking bad for team Britain, down 1-2 to Poland after Marcin Matkowski and Mariusz Fyrstenberg defeated Andy Murray and Ross Hutchins in the doubles on Saturday. It’s unlikely that Murray will play again on Sunday, due to wrist tendinitis that he says is not improving. Where’s Tiger Tim when you need him?

Look out, Brooklyn Decker! Spanish ELLE did a photo shoot in Miami featuring the biological miracle that is Spanish tennis. Fernando Verdasco, David Ferrer, Feliciano Lopez and Nicolas Almagro frolicked in the sun and sand like a team of professional Zoolanders. Photos will appear in the May issue of Elle. Click here and here to check it all out.

Forget the French Open, who’s winning the battle of Blue Steel?

David and Tommy, it’s time for a walk-off!

Ana Ivanovic showed off her own Top Model skills for this week’s Spanish Vanity Fair. According to her website, the writer wonders whether Ana will become “the most important marketing phenom in tennis.” A gal can always dream. . .

Here’s a little gallery – love Feru in his little polka dot mini skirt! And Almagro as his BFF!

Photos via Great Tennis Photos. Or check out abc.es, elle.es and anaivanovic.com for the originals.