I missed the Roddick vs. Hewitt thiller! Why? Because NBC’s “protected” tape-delayed coverage messes up everything here in the Western time zone, and it makes hunting for tennis on t.v. akin to wandering the Sahara without a map. NBC’s live streaming option may be too little, too late, but it beats drinking my own pee. Click here to check it out.

Okay, moving on to the wrap.

Andy Roddick summed it up best on Twitter: “124 home….. 4 left”

And he’s one of those four remaining after beating Lleyton Hewitt today in the aforementioned classic. You know it was an exciting match when you see this:

(That’s Hewitt’s coach, Tony “Dozy” Roche cheering in the stands.)

Roddick will be the underdog in his semi against Andy Murray, who beat Juan Carlos Ferrero in three straight-forward sets (though JCF was up a break in the second.)

P-Andy-monium is my new favorite expression for the whirlwind of excitement, expectation and exhortation that’s swirling around the Scot right now. The Scottish Daily reported that people began queuing up on Monday morning to score a ticket for today’s semi final – that was 17 hours before Murray beat Stan Wawrinka in the Round of 16. Over 12 million people tuned into the BBC to watch that match at home. The Scot’s even being credited for reviving Britain’s failing economy – or at least helping his country-folk forget about it.

Here’s a summary:

If, like the freaky butcher in the video, you are among the few who’d prefer the “other Andy” to get to the final, you’ll like today’s ominous quote from Juan Carlos Ferrero.

Q. Do you think you might have lost to the eventual winner?

JUAN CARLOS FERRERO:  Of course, he’s playing very well. He’s moving well in this court. He’s serving very well. So of course he has a lot of chances to win. But he has two matches left. He will suffer, for sure.

I like Andy Roddick’s strategy: “I’m just going to pretend when they say “C’Mon Andy” that they mean me.”

Federer Fans will love this quote from Ivo Karlovic, who lost to Roger today in straight sets, 6-3, 7-5, 7-6:

Q. Can you explain what Roger does differently than other players with your serve? Does he hit it back sooner, or is it clear to you why he can handle it a little bit better than others?

IVO KARLOVIC: Oh, it is only because he is better than everybody else. That’s it.

Roger broke Dr. Ivo’s serve twice in their quarterfinal match – the first time(s) the Croatian’s been broken all tournament. But an alert Fedophile never rests easy – here are a couple press conference quotes that set us on edge:

ROGER FEDERER: We’re just gonna try to, you know, push through this weekend, you know, and then after that (Mirka) can completely relax, even though she is already. There’s still obviously the pressure with all the big matches, and especially towards the final weekend.

Doesn’t Roger realize that using the word “pushing” when his wife is ready to pop sends BabyFed Watch into the red zone? Even more nerve-wracking was Roger’s talk of five set matches and Tommy Haas:

ROGER FEDERER: It’s fun, you know, playing the biggest matches. Especially I like playing best‑of‑five‑set matches. And maybe this is where, you know, I’m best at, you know, because everything comes out. Not only your mental strengths, but physical, tactical skills. Tactical skills, you know there needs a lot happening, you know, that I lose a match over best‑of‑five sets, you know.

No, it’s not fun, Roger! (Please excuse me while I wipe off my sweaty palms. . .I think I have mild PTSD from the French Open.)

Tommy Haas will have another chance to push Roger to the limit on Friday, when the two meet in the semifinals. He took out a hang dog Novak Djokovic in four nervy sets – continuing his win streak on grass and his cunning evasion of the Tennis Gods’ caprices.

TOMMY HAAS: Yeah, well, I mean, basically I think if you just look through the past, I don’t know, maybe 13, 14 years of me playing Wimbledon, you know, there’s a lot of bad luck involved.

Even the matches that I have lost in the third round to maybe get a little further, you know, I’ve lost a lot of tight ones. I always felt like deep down Wimbledon will maybe still have something left for me. It better come up soon, because I’m not getting any younger.

And the Tennis Gods aren’t getting any kinder, either. At this point I don’t know if they’re waiting to take him out with a wasp sting when he’s, say, 5-0 up in the fifth set against Federer,

or if Tommy’s endured such a flood of bad luck that it’s finally overflowed into the good karma bucket. We will see.

Novak Djokovic isn’t suffering from bad luck as much as bad attitude. The No. 4 seed was just becoming the talked-about “guy who nobody’s talking about” at Wimbledon, easing into the quarterfinals losing only one set. And now everyone will be talking about him – because of today’s lackluster loss to Haas.

“Today was a real disaster.” Novak said after the match, blaming nerves and pressure.

NOVAK DJOKOVIC: I just think that the difference, you know, is a little unpatience (sic) in that important moments. I think I get nervous a little bit more than I used to. And I guess that’s probably pressure that I feel. But I shouldn’t.

Sports psychologists all over Serbia are plumping the sofa cushions and putting out the Nole Bars and Aqua Novak in anticipation of a new client. Maybe some Orbit gum, too.

“New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there. You spill your guts out at Wimbledon, and they make you stop and clean it up.” – Jimmy Connors.

It’s gut-check time for Roger Federer and the rest of Wimbledon’s “Gentlemen” as they battle it out in the quarterfinals on Wednesday. Who’s bringing their mop and bucket to the court? Here’s the schedule:

WIMBLEDON: MEN’S QUARTERFINALS SCHEDULE
times BST (seedings in brackets)

Centre Court – 1:00 p.m.
Ivo Karlovic (22) vs. Roger Federer (2)
Andy Murray (3) vs. Juan Carlos Ferrero

No. 1 Court – 1:00 p.m.
Tommy Haas (24) vs. Novak Djokovic (4)
Lleyton Hewitt vs. Andy Roddick (6)

Karlovic vs. Federer: The head to head is 8-1, Federer, with Roger’s sole loss coming in Cincinnati in 2008. Roger’s beaten Ivo twice this year – in Indian Wells and Rome. They’ve met once on grass – at Wimbledon, 2004, with Roger winning in straights (two tiebreaks.) This is the Croatian’s first Major quarterfinals appearance. But before Fed Fans get too comfortable, consider the fact that the big serving Croat has not been broken this tournament (Roger’s been broken three times) and has served 137 aces (Roger’s served 59.)

Dr. Ivo also has a new mojo-rific, “spank that ace” victory dance. Horrifying:
Winner: I’m WAY too superstitious. The one time I picked Fed to win at GTT, he lost to Djokovic (Roger’s Cup, 2007). But if I see Dr. Ivo dancing like this on court tomorrow, I’ll need my own mop and bucket.

Murray vs. Ferrero. Head-to-head is 1-0, Murray, with their single meeting coming on grass a couple weeks ago in the Queen’s Club semis. Murray steamrolled the Spaniard 6-2, 6-4. Will Ferrero – an elderly (29 year-old) wildcard ranked 70 in the world – be Wimbledon’s answer to Robin Soderling? Or this year’s version of Goran Ivanisevic (the wildcard who broke British hearts by beating Tim Henman in the 2001 Wimbledon semis?) Um. . .only if Andy got a bad sunburn in training today:

Winner: AHN-day Murrr-AY! (I love saying it that way!)

Haas vs. Djokovic. Ooh! This is an attractive proposition! The head-to-head is 2-1 in Nole’s favor, but Haas just beat him in the finals of Halle, a grass court tune-up. Tommy is the oldest guy still left in the draw (31), played this year’s longest match at Wimbledon (4.5 hours against Cilic), and will probably catch the Swine Flu before the match (no joke – click here.). Then again, Novak could retire with ear cramps if the weather stays hot. So let’s just pop some popcorn, hope they’re both healthy and enjoy the drama! Winner: Djokovic

Lleyton Hewitt vs. Andy Roddick: Flashback to the early 2000s! This will be the 12th meeting of these former No. 1s, in a history that’s spanned from the 2001 Miami Masters to a couple weeks ago in the quarterfinals at Queen’s Club (which Andy won.) Hewitt holds the slight edge in their 6-5 head-to-head, but I defy even the most sadistic of Tennis Gods to squelch the much-anticipated Andy vs. Andy semifinal. Winner: AN-deee RAH-dick (nope, American just ain’t as fun as Scottish.)

How about you, seeing any bumps (or fevers, or obscene dancing) ahead?